Parenting Guide

8 Things You Should Look Out For to Identify if Your Child is a Bully

Published by SchoolAdvisor | Jun 20, 2017

It is important for everyone to remember that you can't tell if a person is a bully just by what he or she looks like. The clearer way to identifying a bully is by noticing the way they act or behave. A bully can be anyone, a bully can be anywhere.

 

The act of bullying is a problem that has been around for ages. We are no strangers to the problem. We have either experienced it first hand or have at least seen a version of it happen before our very eyes. It is a problem that isn't solved yet and in recent times have become a bigger and serious issue ever since the death of a teenage bully victim, T. Nhaveen.

If you happen to notice a bullying happening, step in and try to prevent it. Do not condone it. Here, we provide you with a list of eight characteristics you may want to look out to make sure your child (or someone you know) is not a bully.

1. Quick-tempered

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This characteristic is hard to run from but if its detected at an early age, it might be easier to tone it down. Being quick-tempered and impulsive might not make your child a bully but it can be the spark that ignites it.

2. Have a need to control and dominate others

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According to Michael Friedman PhD, writing for Psychology Today, research suggests that animals and humans, experience health benefits associated with higher social status. Bullies tend to dominate their victims to be more socially accepted or maybe even feared.

3. Refuse to take responsibility

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Bullies never admit that they are in the wrong. If anything, they would bully someone else into admitting it was their fault instead. The teenagers that were charged for Nhaveen's death had pleaded not guilty for committing the offence despite the fact that there was another victim present at the scene who could identify them.

4. Blame the target

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The reason for bullying is the victim, or so says the bully. As if the victims of bullying don't already get enough, they get blamed for even being bullied in the first place. This may not make sense to most but it relates back to point #3 where the bully refuses to take responsibility and in return, blames the victims instead.

5. Good at talking their way out of situations

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Being good at talking your way out of something could work perfectly for you if your job depended on it. But it also comes negatively when it is used inappropriately. Most bullies who are caught and get confronted tend to put on a front and straight up lie. Some even go as far as to play innocent.

6. Intolerant of differences

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A lot of bullies have a perception of what they perceive as acceptable, so everything else that does not fit the profile is categorised as different in their eyes. Nhaveen's tormentors who had identified him as a transsexual decided to "make him a man" which resulted in Nhaveen getting beaten up at school.

7. Insensitive to the needs of others

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Bullies do not care about anyone else but themselves what more of their victims. If they did, would they even bully in the first place? They are insensitive and rarely have affectionate emotions which could be a driving force of their negative behavior and actions.

8. Pro-violence

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Bullies tend to view violence in a positive way. They might enjoy watching violence happen as a form of entertainment as they take pleasure in seeing someone in distress. It could be as innocent as a child's favorite cartoons fighting each other or it could straight up be a real fight. Either way, a child with a preference for violence is a red flag.

Possessing these characteristics does not mean your child is a bully. Each characteristic by itself doesn't make a bully, but there is always the possibility of your child going down the bully route if they are ticking many of these boxes.