Parenting Guide

Schools are warning parents about ‘13 Reasons Why’ and here’s why

Published by SchoolAdvisor | May 03, 2017

Schools around the world are issuing warnings to parents about Netflix’s latest original series, 13 Reasons Why, over concern that the breakout teen drama could glamorise teen suicide.

So where does the concern lie with the critically well-received show – and why are schools getting involved?

What is the show?

13 Reasons Why – which hit the popular streaming platform on March 31 – draws its plot from Jay Asher’s 2007 young adult novel of the same. The show’s episode count matches its title, with each installment following a series of audio recordings a teen leaves behind for her classmates and peers explaining why she decided to kill herself.

Every episode jumps between the past and present, profiling how each tape subject impacted Hannah’s (Katherine Langford) decision to take her life.

Selena Gomez is the executive producer of the show, originally intended to be a mini-series, though there are rumors of a second season.

Why is it controversial?

Throughout the series, there are instances of sexual assault, rape, underage drinking, driving under the influence, body shaming and, ultimately, a graphic scene depicting Hannah’s suicide. 

In "13 Reasons Why," teen Hannah Baker (Katherine Langford) leaves behind a damning trail of tapes revealing how her peers' behavior impacted her emotionally and physically before she committed suicide.

What are schools and mental health experts saying?

In a public statement, the National Association of School Psychologists issued a warning against viewing the series to parents of “vulnerable youth.”

“Its powerful storytelling may lead impressionable viewers to romanticise the choices made by the characters and/or develop revenge fantasies,” the statement read. “They may easily identify with the experiences portrayed and recognise both the intentional and unintentional effects on the central character.”

Steven Silver (left) and Dylan Minette (right) wrestle with the question of why their classmate, Hannah killed herself and who's to blame.

The NASP said that while 13 Reasons Why “accurately” conveys that there is no one cause of suicide, “research shows that exposure to another person’s suicide, or to graphic or sensationalised accounts of death, can be one of the many risk factors that youth struggling with mental health conditions cite as a reason they contemplate or attempt suicide.”

Parents of Grade six students in St Vincent Elementary School in Edmonton, Canada, were sent an email warning of the shows graphic and violent scenes, according to CBC news.This is the message:

Dear Grade Six parents,

It is has come to Miss Ciezki's and my attention that some students are watching a Netflix series called 13 Reasons Why. The discussion that is unfolding at school is troubling. This series is rated Mature and the theme is the suicide of a high school student. This show includes graphic violence (rape) and gore, profanity, alcohol/drugs/smoking, and frightening/intense scenes. Of course what your child watches on television is completely your choice, however I wanted to let you know that many students are watching and discussing this at school. The purpose of this email is to provide you with this information. Please let your child know that discussion of 13 Reasons Why is not permitted at school due to the disturbing subject matter. Should you have any question, please do not hesitate to contact me. If you have questions about this show, please feel free to contact Miss Ciezki, who has watched the series. Thank you,Mme Ghali 

“Mental health professionals are concerned that adolescents, watching without an adult available to process the themes and their own feelings, could be at an increased risk of self-harm,” the letter reportedly read. “We would be particularly concerned for any student who may be struggling emotionally and views the series without the opportunity to process the content.”

What can parents do?

Most families who have Netflix will have one login and several profiles so that each family member can pick and choose the shows they want to watch. If you're worried your child might be watching this series but you don't want to ask in case that prompts them to start watching it, click their profile and it will tell you. And don't forget that Netflix will suggest shows and tell you what's trending, so if your teenager hasn't heard about it already then it's likely it will be suggested to them.

So what do you do when you find out that your child is watching '13 Reasons Why'?

This series has been made and has received a great deal of attention and a whole lot of teenagers are going to watch it. This doesn't mean your teenager is going to be at risk of suicide, but if they're watching a series about suicide, you can't pretend it's not happening because it's too scary or too hard to have the conversation.

Suicide is the second leading cause of death for youth ages 10-24.

It's equally important that you are calm and rational in your conversation with them. Now that they've been exposed to the concept of suicide (if they hadn't been already), they need to know that it's okay to talk to their parents about this topic. We see the tragic consequences of not doing this in '13 Reasons Why', when Hannah struggles to articulate to her parents, her teachers, and finally the school counsellor what was going on for her.

But what do you actually talk about? A good place to start is to remind your teenager that this story is fictional and not based on any real-life events. It does not reflect the lives of most teenagers. It's also American, so there are subtle cultural differences.

Another thing to discuss is the fact that once a person dies by suicide, they can't look back and see the story unfold as they retell it, the way Hannah does. Of course, she's not really seeing it, but she narrates every single episode and it can almost feel as though she is seeing it. Using suicide to punish or enact revenge on a person or people (which is a strong element of Hannah's story) is also not something you get to see.

Image: Hollywood Reporter

When Hannah reaches out to adults for help, particularly the school counsellor, it seems that no-one can help her. In fact, the counsellor does a really poor job. Reinforce to your teenager that this is not normal at all. There are many school teachers, school counsellors, youth workers and youth group leaders who will listen, who will take you seriously, and who will help you find the help and hope you need that Hannah couldn't seem to find. There is help out there.

And finally, if your teenager has lost a friend to suicide, they need to know it's okay to feel guilty, to feel sad, to feel angry and to feel like maybe there's even someone or several people to blame. However, the truth is it's no-one's fault and no-one is to blame. Hannah's school mates on the tape were responsible for the things they did, but they are not to blame for her suicide.