Parenting Guide

The 8 Life Skills All 18-Year-Olds Should Have: A Checklist For Parents

Published by SchoolAdvisor | Dec 06, 2016

High school is supposed to prepare you for real life, but sometimes it falls short. If you’re looking for essentials to teach your kids (or learn as an adult), here are some suggestions from the dean of Stanford.As former Stanford dean and author Julie Lythcott-Haims suggests, by the time a person is 18 years old, they should have a few basic skills to help navigate life. These include, but are not necessarily limited to:

1. Being able to talk to strangers 

(Image via: A cup of Jo) The moment an 18-year-old enters college, they'll be overwhelmed by faculty members, student advisors and yes, hundreds of other students (gasp!). In the real world this would include bank staff, mechanics, librarians and the like.The problem: We have taught our kids to never speak to strangers and to only stick to people we know rather than teaching them how to discern through the few bad strangers from the mostly good ones. As a result, kids shy away from asking much needed guidance and help, respectfully.The advice: Start young! Get your kids to pay for something at the store while you watch from a distance. This would not only teach your children to approach strangers but would help boost their confidence.

2. Find their way around

(Image via: Daily Mail UK) An 18-year-old should be able to navigate their way around town, campus or a new city on their own.The problem: We drive our kids everywhere! As such, there isn't a need for kids to learn their way around or how to cope with using the public transport (must I only use coins to pay for the fare?), how to change a flat tyre or how to fill up the petrol tank.The advice: Try using the public transport with your kids every once in a while. Discover new routes with them and trust us, your kids will thank you later!

3. Manage assignments, workloads and deadlines 

(Image via: ClaudKelly) In college, they'll be bombarded with multiple assignments with similar deadlines. How can they cope?The problem: We have always been there to remind our kids about deadlines, homework and when to clean their rooms and sometimes we help them do it. Thus kids are unable to prioritise tasks and meet deadlines without constant reminders.The advice: Prepare a schedule for kids to follow and reward them if they are able to complete each task without any reminders.

4. Contribute to the running of a household 

(Image via: The Motherhood) The problem: We usually don't ask them to help around the house because their "busy schedule" leaves very little time in the day for anything aside from enrichment classes and co-curricular activities. So, kids don't know how to look after their own needs, respect the needs of others, or do their fair share for the good of the whole.The advice: Make known that even the littlest contribution like washing their own dishes after meals is a contribution to the efficient running of the family.

5. Handle interpersonal problems 

You notice that your teenage children are easily agitated and stressed out most of the time. Why?The problem: We step in to solve misunderstandings and soothe hurt feelings for them and thus, kids don't know how to cope with and resolve conflicts without our intervention.The advice: Let them (at least try) to handle their own problems. Only if it is absolutely necessary, offer help and advice.

6. Cope with the ups and downs 

(Image via: Easy Health Options) An 18-year-old will have to deal with unpredictable lecturers, strict bosses, tough competition and a tight budget.The problem: We step in when things get hard, finish the task, extend the deadline, and talk to the adults. As such, kids don't know that in the normal course of life things won't always go their way, and that they'll be okay regardless.The advice: Some battles should be fought by your children themselves. Let them discover the twists and turns of life and that there is bound to be ups and downs. Be there to comfort them and help them digest the situation so that they can handle it better in the long run on their own.

7. Be able to earn and manage money

(Image via: US News)The problem: Money to our children mostly comes from their allowance. They easily ask for money when they want to buy something or have a need. As such, they will never develop as sense of responsibility towards money and they will not appreciate the cost of things or how to manage their money.The advice: If they want something, they got to earn it! Get your kids to help around the house and give them cash rewards which they can save or manage to purchase something they really want.

8. Be able to take risks

(Image via: Blazers Edge) The problem: We've laid out their entire path for them and have avoided all pitfalls or prevented all stumbles for them; thus, kids don't develop the wise understanding that success comes only after trying and failing and trying again (a.k.a. "grit") or the thick skin (a.k.a. "resilience") that comes from coping when things have gone wrong.The advice: From the wise words of Chris Martin, Coldplay's frontman, "But if you never try you'll never know. Just what you're worth". Let them try new things and take small risks whenever possible. Help them deal with the consequences and encourage them to put themselves out there more and more as they get older.Kids should be able to do all of these things without resorting to getting mum and dad on the phone. So help them prepare. It is a big world out there, but it can be a highly rewarding one too with the right life skills!