Parenting Guide

How to get your 12-15 years old children to do their own homework

Published by SchoolAdvisor | Oct 30, 2013

If you need information on how to get your 12-15 years old children to do their own homework, read suggestions made by Dr. Michelle Alvarez who is an adjunct professor at the University of Southern Indiana and also the project director of Safe Schools. She is also the parent of a special needs child.

 

We as parents are not perfect and I for one had to learn to let go of the desire for my now 15-year-old to complete his homework and study on his own. But what I was doing by working with him every day was not teaching him the skills. He needed to take responsibility and become disciplined enough to do it on his own. For me that meant letting him fail so he could learn to succeed.

Am I saying you need to let your 12-year-old kid fail? No. But what I am saying is to step back and look at your involvement in the situation and examine it a bit. Start with their strengths, what is she successful at completing and under what conditions is she successful? You might even ask her to help you answer that question. Her insight could help both of you create an atmosphere where she can be successful on her own. You can progressively back away from involvement to the point of just verbally checking in with her about her homework. This may mean moving from being in the room with her while she is working on homework to answer questions to being in another part of the house and being available if she needs you. Then once she experiences success she will gain the skills she needs to work on her own.

The structure that you provide your 12-year-old should continually foster and reward independence and responsibility. If indeed there are more areas in which she/he needs to begin to develop more independence, then work on the areas you are most comfortable with and make it an overall change rather than in just one area.

All of this said, there could always be other reasons why your daughter is not completing her homework. Make sure to rule out any environmental (school, peers, etc.) factor, medical cause or learning disability that could contribute to the problem and consult professionals in those areas. I would rule out "Language" issue as a contributing factor to the problem as a first step in the process.